Where the roses and lily pads are still dormant, the camellias are in full bloom. The Huntington has colors I had yet to see otherwise, including a camellia with pink and white strips, almost as if the Queen of Hearts had not yet finished with her chores.
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And, where one may miss the smell of roses, they are easily forgotten by the smells of a hundred other variety of flowers that sit across the property. Wisteria hangs heavy from the trees, draping over the water, it's light purple majestic and appropriate with the Mountains not far away as a backdrop. The swimming stone sculptures of limestone towered up into the clean, blue sky.
Beth sat with her leg crossed, a serious look upon her face. Her hair was pulled back, the dark brown and chestnut highlights were accentuated by the sun. The straight lines and her matronly demeanor drew her pensive look into deeper focus. Her eyes never lost their luster, they still glowed with an intensity - a shadowed topaz, that didn't lighten despite the sun sometimes alighting her face.
I had to catch myself constantly, as if the past didn't exist - and, for me, I didn't feel it. It had been eight years. We were in our later twenties then and full of fire. We stayed up all night wordlessly making love, in a time when we didn't know sleep as intimately as we do now.
I loved lightly brushing back the strands of hair from her temples and staring into her eyes. She stared back with an equal intensity. If it hadn't been for her job, and mine, we would have stayed together. At least that's what I tell myself.
The truth is that it was better this way. Better to have that distance where we didn't have foresight. It made us better. She was married, no kids, and I got close to both, but my career ruined a string of chances. And, equally honest to myself, none of them held a candle to Beth.
She had that mysterious allure that held my respect. The classic touches on her face, the ever present shadow in her hair, her eyes and even in the earthen color of her skin - a mixture of Vietnamese and Polish descent.
"Where's the doctor at today?" I smirked slightly, awaiting her to turn to me. She didn't. This was odd. We sat at the Chinese Garden House. We had stewed pork belly in coconut sauce and a few odds and ends. I sat with a Buddha Beer. His exaggerated smile looking into me. He got the joke.
"Why didn't we stay together?" Great. A hard question first. My mind bounded to keep this day light, I felt like a boxer trying to keep the fight going, at least in the best way possible. I shouldn't answer lightly though...
"I can assure you it wasn't for lack of thinking it over." It was true: we both tried to make it work, each on their own, but returned to the same point and the same decision. She still didn't look at me. Try harder dummy, I spoke to myself, the sweat starting to come. "But here we are...now. At this moment." I shifted the food away. "The Tao would say this is where we needed to be. Together. I don't think you've noticed, but I'm holding in an elation that I've had for two weeks." I didn't want to reach out, but I've wanted to hold her hand the moment we walked unto the grounds.
We left the food behind and walked back toward the Japanese Garden. Along the footpath, the camellia fell low. The shafts of sunlight dappling our path. I know what she was thinking. There were too many variables for her. She was a doctor and of high analytical mind. There was too much baggage.
"It's unfair to think that our past could command what could be." She still hadn't made eye contact. The sweat came down. I'm not going to lie, I wanted this to go right and exactly what I thought could not is happening. Having been a known quantity killed the chances for spontaneity. "It was a life time ago, before all of this."
"And you could so easily take me back? You don't know what I've done..." We walked up a trail that was cooled by bamboo, right next to the traditional Japanese House. I couldn't take anymore, I swung her around and looked confidently into her eyes, "I don't care." As I held her by her arms to turn her toward me, her eyes relaxed and I could feel her body soften. She put her hand on my face and searched my eyes. I fought every urge to say something - but I knew it would fall apart. She said nothing as well.
She turned and sunk her body into mine as we walked past the House. All the walls were open today and you could see from one end to the other. It must have been that way in the dead of summer, allowing any breeze to flow through.
On the other side of the House there was a zig zag of bridge that cut through twenty-foot-high bamboo. She deftly moved our bodies in that direction. Her hips and her side felt impeccably right against me. My chi had filled, embarrassingly so...but there was little I could do to control it.
Beth moved me, as if I was led like a dancer, against the railing and pushed against me. Her eyes were wrought with abandon. I didn't know what it meant for tomorrow, just as I thought that she wanted, I wanted assurances for me as well. I couldn't stand to lose her again. She pulled her lips up to mine and we kissed until the warmth of the afternoon fell and the sting of the cold evening brought us back to reality.
