...it's as you never left...14feb14...

I have not forgotten.  I don't need to.  This is who I am, this is the 'why'.  Meaning is immaterial.  These days, they are formed in chaos and there is little of what should make sense.  I see the undulating greens in the conifers above me.  Their needles dark against the dark blue of dusk.  Darken more and the greens leave first.  The blue changes to the finality of the day.  My head aches for laying too long in the hard dirt that surrounds the root.  The evergreen pulls all the moisture out of the soil, the ring of grassless exposed dirt does not hid it's spindly roots.  It is Valentine's today, but eagerly I want it to end.  The ache comes again, to the surface, hungry and encompassing.  How long will this go on?  Muse!   The internal voice cries out through the day.  The facades echo nothing of your light.  How would they?

:The impassable stone is silent and still
It has set it's flint and shale to the fore
It has patience and knows little more
Than what was proven, what is cast,
And what is still the same, e'en now.:

:The greens of the hills and their contrasted span
The distance insurmountable.
But all around, in moments fleeting
The hues of jade and amethyst
Alternate and alight the memory:

:Patience.  But not in this life, is known
The world conspired against it
How cruelty is proved true by its most diabolical proofs
And that my letters will never be read
But hide in the crags and lines of the eager edifice:

:If you but knew it was only you
I doubt it would change little else.
And you, it was you, and that is all that I knew
But the travails quickly dulled to memory
But who can tear at the stones that shall mount
And oh, how they mount Higher with each passing year:

:I aware at the thought, they shall surpass me
And the records of man prove aright
That may little be known of the man that lay here
But for the woman, his Muse, did he love!: